Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Online Dating Self Sabotage From The Series On Success At Online Dating

Online dating -Self sabotage

Well, in this multi-tasking, crazy world I have created for myself I find that many people standing on the side-lines viewing, find it rather confusing and that I seem rather confused.

This is more than likely the case usually, but sometimes there is a method to my madness.

Unfortunately this time it is not the case. In the middle of this self-proclaimed series I must go completely off track. I am going to discuss instead a few methods of sabotage, self sabotage that is. I have seen people all but isolate themselves just because of not being realistic about life and the people in it. One is if you have an idea of your perfect mate and there is no bending on it, I can tell you rather quickly that your chances of being in a long term relationship are as close as you can get to zero. You cannot create your mate, having the person do everything your way. They may even go along with you at first, but they will eventually get tired of being or trying to be someone they are not and then they will exit stage left.

One I have seen more than once is when a person meets someone, they are out doing something like dancing, going to a party, something social. When they finally meet the person they decide to be with they stop doing all the social things and do less and less until they are not doing anything. This leads to a very sad and confusing time for the partner who thought they had found the wonderful, fun special person to be in a long term relationship with. Most people will understand if you don't feel well or have had a bad day or even a bad week, but they will not understand if you were being a socialite and then just stop. If you were an introvert but started going out places to try and meet someone and once you found someone you wanted to return to your isolation, this time with your mate, I don't believe they would be very responsive in a positive way.

They would not have had a clue what was going on and may even become a little angry feeling like they had been duped. That is one of the reasons a person needs to be very honest on their profile. If you are one who likes to be at home doing quite things you should say so. If you are a real social, people person so to speak then you should say so because the person who you are considering dating may be the one who likes seclusion. A night out on the town may be a bit overwhelming for that person.

You can always much more properly prepare for a date if you know a few things that your date likes or dislikes. If you are honest you are less likely to be stuck in the middle of something you dislike or even hate.


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