Have you ever been hurt by the man in your life? If so, will he ever hurt you again? What should you do to keep a bad relationship from getting worse? These days, millions of women live in fear, trapped in relationships marred by physical and emotional torture. Here's how to get out of such relationships -- and to make sure you never get trapped in one again.
When it comes to abusive relationships, all the self-help gurus say the same thing: "If he did it once, he'll do it again." But at the same time, we all have seen and heard men who used to be violent, but reformed to lead peaceful, productive lives and relationships.
What's the difference between these two types of relationships? Why do men in certain relationships remain abusive and violent, while men in other relationships change and become more peaceful?
The answer: It's in the women.
I'm not joking -- it's the women in the relationships that make the difference. And that means if he hurt you in the past, you have the power to determine whether he will hurt you again in the future, or never again.
Read this with me: "He will never hurt me again if I don't allow him to."
The reason why many women stay in abusive relationships is because they feel trapped by obligation. They may be hopelessly dependent on the men in their lives. Or they may be staying for the sake of the children. Or they may have nowhere else to go.
But again: He won't hurt you if you don't allow him to. And in abusive relationships, it's always best to stop the violence before it gets any worse.
The best thing to do is to get away from the abuse. That's right -- leave! Without saying anything, you're telling him that you don't stand for his behavior. And if he loves you as much as he says he does, he should apologize before long.
Another mistake that many women make is forgiving too easily. When you forgive a man for hurting you too easily, it gives him another reason to hurt you again in the future, simply because he knows HE -- not YOU -- is in charge of the situation. He knows that by simply apologizing, he can right a wrong. And that is never true.
So my advice? Don't forgive him too easily. Let him prove himself. Give him a few months to show you whether or not he can really get rid of his bad habits.
Believe it or not, this approach has healed many violent relationships in the past, even though it does make the relationship a tense one for a while. The main reason for the healing is -- you guessed it -- the woman. She was strong enough to challenge the man to better himself.
If the man truly loves her, he WILL change for the better. And if he doesn't, he leaves the relationship, but the woman remains safe and in control.
Let's say that one more time: He won't hurt you if you don't allow him to. Simply standing up for yourself can transform a hopeless relationship into a win-win situation for you!
I hope you learned the important love lesson in this article. This is just one scenario you'll need to protect yourself against as you enter and maintain a romantic relationship with a man.
Would you like to learn more helpful advice in handling love and relationships?
If your answer is "yes," then I will be glad to help!
To read more about how to make a man TRULY love you, click Signs He Wants You. You'll learn all the secrets to make a man Fall in Love with you.
Evangeline Harris is a dating and relationship expert. Her passion is to write informative articles for women who want to improve their love lives. Visit her site for more information.
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